Wednesday, August 29, 2007
2:39:00 PM
Look at what I added on the sidebar! A PSEUDO SIDEBLOG! YAY! It sucks though bec there's character limit. I think it's built for mobile blogs or blah. I'mma figure out how to work the sideblog though bec that was just preeetty :) Hehe. Sorry haven't updated. Will update soon! School starts Sept 4. I'm already a shift leader in Dunkin. More moolah YAY!!!
CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE! Don't know if I'm excited :( Boo.. This sucks. Pilipinas huhu mishy mwAhuGz ♥
And now I answer a survey I got from anak's LJ that she got from Bodi that Bodi got from someone else probably :)
1.
I love... a lot of things and a lot of people.2.
Right now I want... to eat pork chops with buttered corn.3.
I feel like... sleeping.4.
I hate it when... I get impatient, and snap at people who don't deserve snappage from me.5.
I fear... I don't have enough faith in God.6.
I'm lonely without... the people I love. Who isn't.7.
I need... a hug. And a kiss from.. Brandon Boyd. Mwahaha >:)8.
Today I... have nothing else to do but sleep.9.
Tomorrow I'm... going to sell coffee and donuts to caffeine and sugar hungry Americans.10.
I just... can't understand why some people leave millions of dollars to their DOGS or CATS or whatever pets they have.11.
I want to meet... the Dalai Lama! Seriously. I heard he's a funny man :)12.
I'm hungry for... some loooovin' baby. HAHAHA!
13.
I love it when... I witness innocence and curiosity in kiddos. Even in adults fine but more kiddos side it makes my day :)14.
I'm afraid of... mumu hehehe :D15.
I'm listening to... dead poetic.16.
I'm wearing... socks.17.
I wish I was in... PILIPINAS!!18.
I'm craving... for some pancakes and Sushi.19.
I want to get... a car.20.
I can... sleep 24hrs (almost) straight. I have to wake up when I feel peepee. Also when my neck or back starts to hurt [haha bed sore! :D] I have to change position I wake up for like a minute then go back to sleep again without any difficulty. I'm a sloth like that.
21.
I can't... research/use google. I suck. Ask KikiBig. I ask her to research for me back in the days when I was really such a dumbass. I couldn't find a poster of A 40-year Old Virgin for English class could you believe. I'm getting better now :)
22.
I have... a horoscope subscription in Globe and I've had it for 4years. It sends me my funny tagalog horoscope everyday. It doesn't make sense and I don't believe in it but it makes me laugh so I keep it.
23.
I haven't... moved on. NAKS parang sakit na sakit eh!
24.
I'm nervous to... drive here.25.
My Mom thinks I'm... ugly and fat.26.
My Dad thinks I'm... still the super smart intelligent over achiver leader type of girl he used to know.27
I think... I'm a bit damaged.28.
I'm happy when... I'm helping, and spending time with friends.29.
I'm sad when... I get neglected by certain people I refuse to name hehe, and when homesickness strikes :(30.
I like eating... a lot of stuff, almost everything, but isaw and tapa and Japanese food are ♥31.
I hate eating... stuff with a whole lot of mayonnaise, or celery.32.
I love watching... movie marathon with Juju♥33.
I love listening to... Brandon Boyd he's so sexy I don't know why.34.
I like playing... PACMAN, Sims2, Granny, and The Apprentice 2.35.
I hate waking up to... the sound of my mother or father screaming at me.36.
I can see... dead people.37.
I'm glad that... ♥38.
I'm disappointed that... I couldn't quit my job :(39.
I look... like a baby seal. Very cuddly. AKA fat. Haha.
40.
I wish... you were here :(
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Friday, August 10, 2007
6:43:00 PM
It's weird to find myself walking on a land different from the people I know, especially my friends. I always catch myself wondering what they're doing now, what tests exams quizzes they studying for for later, what papers they're writing about, what subjects they have, who they are walking to class with. I wonder if they're hungry, if they're in Starbucks, if they're in ISO, if they're in a movie house, if they're eating ice cream or eating BreadTalk bread. Maybe they're shopping, or maybe they're playing with their dog. Maybe they're happy. Or lonely like me. Maybe they need someone to talk to, too.
But I'll never know. I'll never sincerely know whether they need to laugh with me cry with me or whatever. And I'll never be there for them when they need me. Because unlike before, whenever we were in Starbucks, we can talk about whatever it was bothering us or whatever it was that was cracking us up. Because unlike before, whenever we were all secluded in a room away from the real world, we can catch up with everything that we missed from each other. Unlike before, there are no random sleep overs with my friends happening in the last months and the next months tambien.
It feels that when I come back, nothing would be the same again. I won't be the same person, probably, and they won't be the same people, too. They grow. I grow. I feel insecure that I won't have the chance to share same experiences with them. The same conversations with them. Yada yada. I can't fully express how I feel so left out. I don't want to miss out on anything :( [I know this alone time is good for me too but you know how us humans are we never settle for 'i know this is good for me' there's always a but.]
Keeping in touch, and exchanging emails yada yada is just sooo different than the real thing. It doesn't equal spending time with the bitches, with CRV, with Alphachu, with Block G, with intwodays, with Cam and Noy, with ACIL. And it doesn't help that I have such a hard time to keep in touch, because I'm so scared to face the fact that I
NEED to keep in touch because things are different now. I won't go to Ateneo nor UP. I won't go to Gaisano. I won't go to Starbucks. I won't go to McDo, not Gateway, not Greenhills, not Consti, no nothing. I won't go anywhere besides the house I live in and Dunky. Having a life is not a stroll in the park nowadays. It doesn't just happen anymore especially when you forgot to bring it with you and was left behind in the Philippines. I live thousands of miles away from my life.
Every morning, I sing
don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone [because Dunkin plays the same songs over and over every day so it truly is every morning that I sing
don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.] and realize that I never showed anyone how happy I was to share a moment, the same moment, with them. I hope someday, when I walk on the same land with the people I long for, I'd be able to make them feel that I value them, their memory, and the time they spend with me.
Looking at it in another perspective.. Hrm.. Maybe in that way, I can blind myself that I won't ever be left out. But I digress. Because it doesn't follow. Reply hazy try again later.
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